This paper argues the case for professional bodies to lose their right to self-regulate wholly within their membership. Using the example of an analysis of six cases that were reported to the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons (RCVS) as cases of false certification in the last 3 years, this paper demonstrates that self-regulation allows moral integrity to be sacrificed at the expense of economic imperatives, and individual judgements to be preferenced over fair process and procedure. Five of the six cases presented in this paper were upheld by the professional body and the sixth was dismissed and went through the British legal system instead. Narrative analysis of the case reports reveals a lack of consistency in the professional body's analysis of motive, causal connections, responsibility regarding implications and their role as either purveyor of standards or mentor to the profession, which has resulted in anomalies that leave the profession in disarray. By failing to act 'professionally' itself, this paper argues that the RCVS itself has undermined five of its own ten guiding principles, and hence can no longer regulate its own membership. The need for professional regulation beyond those provided by the professions themselves is presented if only by the inclusion of laY'people in professional diSCiplinary hearings.