Intimacy, fathers, best friends and the well-being of young adult males

Studies of relationship intimacy have relied heavily on concepts such as emotional self-disclosure. When intimacy has been examined in this 'traditionally female' way, men have generally reported less intimacy in their relationships than women. Few studies, however, have examined broader indicators of intimacy, or the diversity of intimate experiences within each gender. The present study investigated differences in the way 194 young, heterosexual adult men experienced and expressed intimacy within their relationships, particularly with their fathers and with a best male friend. Five groups of men with different relationship patterns were identified using a clustering procedure. The clusters were based on men's relationships with their mothers and fathers, their best male friend, their approach to romantic relationships with women, and their masculinity ideologies. The five groups, labelled Secure, Anxious, Resilient, Foreclosed, and Fearful were then compared on measures of psychological well-being. Men with Secure and Foreclosed relationship patterns reported the highest levels of well-being. While Secure men experienced intimacy in broad ways and had all-round positive relationships, Foreclosed men expressed traditionally masculine views and reported ideal parental relationships, but were less emotionally expressive and had poorer peer relationships. In contrast, men with Resilient and Anxious relationship patterns reported moderate levels of well-being. Despite some mild depression and problematic drug use, Resilient men had largely overcome very negative relationships with their fathers and had been able to establish positive peer relationships that were characterised by high levels of emotional expression. On the other hand, Anxious men had experienced inconsistent and unreliable fathering and had subsequently experienced high levels of anxiety in their romantic relationships. Finally, Fearful men indicated very low levels of well-being and had all-round poor relationships that lacked most aspects of intimacy. Themes within respondents' memories of their fathers and best male friends were also analysed. Qualitative examples of these themes are presented to highlight and explore differences between the five groups of men in their profiles and their relationship working models. The roles that fathers and male best friends play in young men's lives are also discussed, as are the implications of the findings for counselling theory and practice.