Predicting the relationship satisfaction of couples with dependent children: the impact of attachment, conflict styles and emotional intelligence

The purpose of the current study was to examine the associations between adult attachment, conflict resolution styles, emotional intelligence and relationship satisfaction, and to determine which of these variables were the most important predictors of relationship satisfaction in a sample of longer-term couples with one or more dependent children. One hundred and eleven heterosexual couples (222 individuals; Husbands’ age: M = 44.9 years, SD = 8.3; Wives’ age M = 42.5 years, SD = 7.9) currently living together in a marital relationship (length of relationship: M = 17 years, SD = 8.4) were recruited via snowballing of contacts known to the researcher and via undergraduate psychology students at Swinburne University in Melbourne, Australia who distributed the questionnaires to couples they knew who met the participation criteria. Each partner in the couple completed a separate questionnaire which included measures of their selfperceptions and their perceptions of their partner. The examination of gender differences generally indicated that husbands and wives tended to report similar relationship experiences, although differences in their perceptions of emotional intelligence and both the positive problem solving and compliance conflict styles were found. The hypothesis that lower levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety would be associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction was supported for both husbands and wives. The hypothesis that higher levels of positive problem solving and lower levels of each of conflict engagement, withdrawal, compliance and ineffective arguing would be associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction, was partially supported. Unexpectedly, husbands’ relationship satisfaction was not associated with their wives’ self-reports of positive problem solving or conflict engagement. The hypothesis that higher levels of emotional intelligence would be associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction was partially supported. Contrary to prediction, both husbands’ and wives’ relationship satisfaction was most strongly positively associated with how emotionally intelligent they perceived their partner to be. The hypothesis that lower levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety would be positively associated with positive problem solving, and negatively associated with each of conflict engagement, withdrawal, compliance and ineffective arguing, was partially supported. Despite some minor gender variations, overall husbands’ and wives’ reported levels of attachment avoidance was found to be more strongly related to their self-reports and partner-reports of each conflict style, than was their attachment anxiety. The hypothesis that lower levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety would be associated with higher levels of emotional intelligence was partially supported. Again, both husbands’ and wives’ perceptions of their partners’ level of emotional intelligence was more strongly related to their own attachment dimensions than their own self-reported level of emotional intelligence. The hypothesis that higher levels of emotional intelligence would be associated with higher levels of positive problem solving and lower levels of each of conflict engagement, withdrawal, compliance and ineffective arguing was partially supported. Despite some gender variations, overall both husbands and wives reported engaging in more constructive, and less destructive, conflict styles if they perceived their partner to be higher in emotional intelligence. Of all the examined relationship variables for both husbands and wives, only attachment avoidance, partner-report of emotional intelligence and ineffective arguing were found to be uniquely significant predictors of relationship satisfaction. Overall, the current findings suggest some subtle, but important gender differences in the relationship experiences of couples with dependent children. Further, the current research highlights which factors may be most important to identify and focus on within the context of couple therapeutic interventions.